for others I put on a show....

I've been looking for a pair of shoes.

Normally this is not something I spend a great deal of time worrying about. I actually already have more pairs of shoes than C, although I'm hardly Imelda Marcos: most of my shoes are really very functional (studded football boots, 5-a-side football boots, outdoor running shoes, indoor gym trainers... that kind of thing). The problem is that I don't really have very much in the way of smart shoes. Oh, sure... I've got a pair of black Doc Martens and a nice pair of RM Williams Simpson Dress Boots that I wear for work, but I've not got anything really special.

You know, the kind of thing that you might wear with your made-to-measure Savile Row suit at your wedding....

I got a little swatch of the material my suit is being made with through the post the other day. Armed with this, we headed into town yesterday to see if we could find something suitable. The suit is going to be a brown herringbone, so I had in mind a nice pair of classic brogues, or something similar. Nothing too fancy.

What is it with these bloody clown shoes? It appears to be impossible to buy a pair of decent men's shoes that aren't twice the length of your feet and have tips that are raised off the ground at the "toe" and point about 45 degrees up into the sky.

I'm the best part of six foot five inches tall. I have big feet (UK size 12). They're not freakishly big on a man of my size, but they're certainly bigger than average. The last thing I need is a pair of shoes that make my feet look even bigger.

I have visions of owning a pair of shoes that will require me to arrive at my wedding in a collapsible car with a buttonhole that squirts water and a bucket of glitter....

.....Actually, that sounds like kind of fun.

I'm going to have to look in Birmingham, I think.