just you stood there only in your underwear....

When it comes to the world of fashion, I have - in the main - lived a life of blissful ignorance. Of course, I can't claim to be entirely label blind. Who can? Since I first left university and got myself a job, I have gradually spent more and more money on what I wear. I've never spent all that much, but the more money I had, the more likely I was to spend that cash on clothes. I used to get my jeans from Marks & Spencer, then I moved on to Gap and now I buy from Diesel... there's no question that I have started to buy labels, although I like to think that as a result I look better. I hope it will be a cold day in hell before I buy something with a label just because it has a label. Versace jeans? Hmmm. I don't think so.

Perhaps I shouldn't be so definitive. After all, until today, I still bought my pants from M&S or John Lewis.

So what changed today?

Today I went to the first fitting of my wedding suit. This is where I get to try it on for the first time and the tailor gets to work out what tweaks he still needs to make to get the suit just so. It looks brilliant, but as I pulled on the trousers in the fitting room, I experienced something for the first time, something that has never happened to me in the past. I'm sure this sounds ridiculous -- and ladies, please feel free to snigger at this point -- but normally when I step into a pair of trousers, it's a simple matter of pulling them up and doing them up. Job done. Apparently it's different with tailored trousers, and I found that I needed to sort of wiggle my hips into them before I could do them up. Once over my hips, they fit fine and looked fantastic..... except for one detail..... I appeared to have developed VPL.

Now. I don't really have a general theory about different types of underwear, but I do know that I've always liked boxer shorts. They're nice and airy and comfortable. Unfortunately, they also have a lot of surplus material. Under normal circumstances, and in my normal everyday trousers, this has never been a problem. Apparently, in more closely fitting tailored trousers, this results in a visible panty line.

Bugger.

The tailor was very polite about it, but the bottom line was that I was required to go out and buy some more styled pants.

And so, dear reader, I walked out of the door of Gieves & Hawkes in the Mailbox in Birmingham, I turned right and I walked the 25m down to Harvey Nichols. Once in Harvey Nichols, I bought myself a pair of Calvin Klein 365 trunks.

I'm wearing them right now, and -- if you'll pardon the overshare -- I'm finding them a little clinging.

And so I have discovered something that wiser people than me (many of them women) have known for centuries: you think I wake up looking this good?