52% intelligent. 9% modest. More monkey than bear.

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Now, I don't claim to be an "A" student

And so to the Liberal Democrats.

They are the last of the three major political parties to launch their manifesto** - the delay caused by the birth of Charles Kennedy's first child a couple of days ago. Indeed, the leader was looking more than a little tired and bedraggled at the launch this morning. Part of this is almost certainly due to the presence of the newborn in his house, but I suspect that as a canny politician, he has realised that this rather unique event has generated him an enormous amount of goodwill amongst the electorate, and has cut him an awful lot of slack, and is determined to make the most of it. Is that cynical of me?

So what policies have they come up with to convince us that they are a genuine alternative to Labour and the Conservatives?

Here's our Swiss with a quick reminder:

  • This is a good thing and we are for it
Education & Skills
  • This is also a good thing and we are for this too
  • Furthermore, anyone who is against this is a bad person, and we oppose them
Justice & Crime
  • This one's more tricky
  • We think our position is yes to the former, and no to the latter
  • Is that right?
Economy & Business
  • We don't know much about that, but we do like kittens
  • They're all soft and fluffy
Pensions & Benefits
  • Yes, if you are eligible for them
  • No, if you are not eligible for them
Local Communities
  • Um
  • We think on balance that we agree
International Affairs
  • Crikey, this is hard
  • Can we crib?
Rural Affairs
  • Ah yes, we know about this one
  • We think that voles are a much abused part of rural society. Just because they don't have a vote doesn't mean that they don't matter. They should have more sanctuaries and stuff.
  • Lambs are quite cute aren't they? We like them
  • The wheels on the bus go round and round
  • Round and round
  • Round and round
  • The wheels on the bus go round and round
  • All day long
Better Government
  • Well, the current one's alright, isn't it? We don't mind them really.
  • Although we'd like you to vote for us really
  • But it's up to you, of course
  • Yes
Well, I think you'll agree it makes more sense than anything the Conservatives have come up with, doesn't it?

If you can be bothered, you can find proper analysis here, although I warn you now, even if you do spend the time reading this, Labour still win.



** Veritas also launched their manifesto today. I won't be covering them, although I reserve the right to laugh at them regularly as they discuss their policies - sorry - policy.


  • At 9:48 pm, Blogger the urban fox said…

    Dammit, I told them no photos!

  • At 10:53 pm, Blogger Tom said…

    Very good, Urban Fox. Very good. :-)

  • At 11:33 pm, Blogger Lord Bargain said…

    I'm not sure that Charles Kennedy's newborn son is looking all that well...

  • At 8:15 am, Blogger Damo said…

    Must admit, I've always voted for them and will do so again this time, but I was worried by the way they cocked things up yesterday. I've seen Charles Kennedy interviewed before and he always seemed to have an answer that was viable in theory... yesterday it all went a bit wrong.

    As many people have pointed out, it's very easy to support something that is untested because we can applaud the principles without seeing the practice. Would they, when put on the spot, REALLY have opposed the war?

    What I'm really waiting for is a party that pledges to deport Robert Kilroy-Silk.

  • At 1:29 pm, Blogger Flash said…

    I laughed out very loud when I got to the transport policy!
    Good work fella!


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