it was dark as I drove the point home....
So, the world expert in 'European wasps & the noises they make' is walking down the street. He wanders past a record shop, and is a little taken aback to see a massive poster in the window:
"OUT NOW!
European wasps & the noises they make
Listen to it here!"
Well. How could the world expert in 'European wasps & the noises they make' walk past a sign like that? This was big news in the world of European wasps and the noises they make and no mistake! He walks into the shop and strolls up to the counter.
"Hello, I've seen a poster in the window for the album of European wasps and the noises they make."
The youth behind the counter looks up, sees the world expert in 'European wasps & the noises they make' and raises an eyebrow.
"Yes?"
"Can I have a listen please?"
The youth pauses for a moment, and then points the world expert in 'European wasps & the noises they make' at a booth. "I can let you listen to 10 minutes in that booth over there". He leads the world expert in 'European wasps & the noises they make' over to the booth, hands him the headphones, pops the record on, and returns to the counter.
Ten minutes later the world expert in 'European wasps & the noises they make' comes back to the counter looking a little confused.
"I'm the world expert in 'European wasps & the noises they make'. I've been listening to this album for the last 10 minutes, and I don't recognise a single sound!"
The youth shrugs. "I can let you have another 10 minutes".
The world expert in 'European wasps & the noises they make' returns to the booth and puts the headphones back on. 1o minutes later he is back at the counter.
"I still don't recognise anything"
"Another 10 minutes?"
The world expert in 'European wasps & the noises they make' returns to his booth and puts the headphones back on. 10 minutes later and he returns to the counter looking more confused than ever, and not a little bit perturbed.
"I still don't recognise anything..."
The youth recognises the tone of desperation, and sighs. "I can let you listen to the rest".
The world expert in 'European wasps & the noises they make' returns to the booth and listens to the rest of the album. When it has finished, he takes the headphones off, and wanders slowly back to the counter shaking his head.
"Not a single sound...." He turns to the youth. "Are you sure this is the correct record?"
The youth frowns and wanders over to the booth. He checks the record.
"This is definitely 'European Wasps and the noises they make'"
He has another look.
[here comes the punchline......]
[ready?]
[sure?]
[here it comes now.......]
"Oh hang on a minute. This is the b-side....."
ba-dum tch!
well, at least it wasn't another post about my bloody novel, eh?
"OUT NOW!
European wasps & the noises they make
Listen to it here!"
Well. How could the world expert in 'European wasps & the noises they make' walk past a sign like that? This was big news in the world of European wasps and the noises they make and no mistake! He walks into the shop and strolls up to the counter.
"Hello, I've seen a poster in the window for the album of European wasps and the noises they make."
The youth behind the counter looks up, sees the world expert in 'European wasps & the noises they make' and raises an eyebrow.
"Yes?"
"Can I have a listen please?"
The youth pauses for a moment, and then points the world expert in 'European wasps & the noises they make' at a booth. "I can let you listen to 10 minutes in that booth over there". He leads the world expert in 'European wasps & the noises they make' over to the booth, hands him the headphones, pops the record on, and returns to the counter.
Ten minutes later the world expert in 'European wasps & the noises they make' comes back to the counter looking a little confused.
"I'm the world expert in 'European wasps & the noises they make'. I've been listening to this album for the last 10 minutes, and I don't recognise a single sound!"
The youth shrugs. "I can let you have another 10 minutes".
The world expert in 'European wasps & the noises they make' returns to the booth and puts the headphones back on. 1o minutes later he is back at the counter.
"I still don't recognise anything"
"Another 10 minutes?"
The world expert in 'European wasps & the noises they make' returns to his booth and puts the headphones back on. 10 minutes later and he returns to the counter looking more confused than ever, and not a little bit perturbed.
"I still don't recognise anything..."
The youth recognises the tone of desperation, and sighs. "I can let you listen to the rest".
The world expert in 'European wasps & the noises they make' returns to the booth and listens to the rest of the album. When it has finished, he takes the headphones off, and wanders slowly back to the counter shaking his head.
"Not a single sound...." He turns to the youth. "Are you sure this is the correct record?"
The youth frowns and wanders over to the booth. He checks the record.
"This is definitely 'European Wasps and the noises they make'"
He has another look.
[here comes the punchline......]
[ready?]
[sure?]
[here it comes now.......]
"Oh hang on a minute. This is the b-side....."
ba-dum tch!
well, at least it wasn't another post about my bloody novel, eh?
posted by swisslet @ 22:56
7 Comments:
At 7:24 am,
Flash said…
Ho ho!
At 9:06 am,
LB said…
I've taken to telling this joke and seeing when the person I am telling it to realises what the punchline will be.
It is always before the end; normally about two thirds of the way through....
At 9:19 am,
swisslet said…
it's a classic shaggy dog story, and works best if you tell it in the most convoluted way that you can, and if you mime putting the headphones on and things like that.....
I had C. in hysterics when I was telling it to her - not because the joke is funny, but because she found my impression of the World Expert in European Wasps and the Noises They Make hilarious. I *was* the World Expert in European Wasps and the Noises They Make.
Ah. It's a cracker.
ST
At 10:38 am,
John McClure said…
It's clearly (by your own admission) not a cracker, rather, "it's the way you tell 'em."
Frank Carson - alive and well and quoted in Blogland. Next week, Jimmy Cricket casts a critical eye over ST's novel, rummours having spread that "there's more..."
At 1:29 pm,
Teresa Bowman said…
Was that a tumbleweed I saw rolling past just then?
;)
At 5:59 pm,
HistoryGeek said…
Oh, I like that one!
At 8:07 pm,
Statue John said…
*dodges past tumbleweed*
Can we have some pictorial evidence of you being the World Expert in European Wasps and the Noises they Make please? Just for clarification. Thanks.
SJ
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