I got no distance left to run
If NaNoWriMo has taught me anything, it has taught me that I need to find a way to get more writing done. I get a lot of pleasure and satisfaction out of writing, and I think it's something that I'm relatively good at (although you are probably better placed to make an objective judgement about that than I am). One of the reasons that I blog is that I find it provides me with a creative outlet that my job does not. NaNoWriMo was more of the same, with the crucial difference that instead of posting whatever sprang to mind in bite-sized chunks, it forced me to sit down and write the longest single piece of sustained writing I have ever done. At times it was a bit of a slog, but completing it has given me a real sense of achievement.
What I have also realised over the few days since I smashed through the 50,000 word barrier is that I need to do something about my job. Throughout November I was punching the clock, doing my hours and saving my mental energies for my novel. Now that I have come out the other side, it is all too clear to me that I am wasting myself in my current job, and that either they need to pay me a lot more money than they currently do to put up with it, or I need to look for something else. But what? I'm sure I can find another job doing basically the same thing, but I'm not sure that's what I want. I'd like to do something a bit more stimulating; more creative. In an ideal world I'd like to do something with my writing - even if that was unpaid and alongside my existing job. I just need to give myself something more fulfilling to do before I wake up one day and realise that I've wasted my life in a dead-end job in a souless corporation.
Now don't get me wrong: I know that I'm not J.D.Salinger. I am pleased with my NaNo novel, but mainly I'm pleased that I did it, not because I am convinced it is fabulous. I am under absolutely no illusions about the greatness of my output....
....But I think that if I work at it, I can improve.
But where the hell do I go from here? I don't know what to do. I really don't.
What I have also realised over the few days since I smashed through the 50,000 word barrier is that I need to do something about my job. Throughout November I was punching the clock, doing my hours and saving my mental energies for my novel. Now that I have come out the other side, it is all too clear to me that I am wasting myself in my current job, and that either they need to pay me a lot more money than they currently do to put up with it, or I need to look for something else. But what? I'm sure I can find another job doing basically the same thing, but I'm not sure that's what I want. I'd like to do something a bit more stimulating; more creative. In an ideal world I'd like to do something with my writing - even if that was unpaid and alongside my existing job. I just need to give myself something more fulfilling to do before I wake up one day and realise that I've wasted my life in a dead-end job in a souless corporation.
Now don't get me wrong: I know that I'm not J.D.Salinger. I am pleased with my NaNo novel, but mainly I'm pleased that I did it, not because I am convinced it is fabulous. I am under absolutely no illusions about the greatness of my output....
....But I think that if I work at it, I can improve.
But where the hell do I go from here? I don't know what to do. I really don't.
posted by swisslet @ 20:19
8 Comments:
At 10:13 pm,
Alecya G said…
I think you should write as much as possible. Even if it is only for you, do it.
If you like the shared misery of Nano, start a writing group. Heck, I'll join :) We can suffer though our writing together.
Most important, be happy. Life is too short to be miserable.
At 11:22 pm,
LB said…
I've often considered that my next step may end up being a journalist about my profession. If I can write, and that is a subject I know a lot about, it seems like the logical way forward and so I subscribe to Fox's advice.
However, and I have no justification to back this up at all, I suspect it is like anything. If you do it for a living it could become a chore and significantly less enjoyable in the long run that it might seem today. Jeez, I bet even JK Rowling is f*cked off with the whole thing.
In my humble opinion, you are clearly wasted at your job, and your NaNo thing is, whilst perhaps not going to trouble the Booker Prize shortlist, bloody good. Get it published. Get on Newsnight Review. Have it made into a film so I can have a bit part and retire on the repeat fees....
If Steven Merchant can co-write The Office, we can bloody well come up with a genius comedy series and no mistake.
do the Carmarthen Journal not need anything?
At 12:28 am,
bytheseashore said…
Just keep writing. Hopefully that way you'll figure out (if you haven't already) what your strengths are or how you can do it for a living if that's what you want to do. If you don't decide to do it for a living then you will probably have enjoyed the time you've put into it anyway.
I guess you're a techie in your current job (I don't think we work in the same office; I would have noticed the 'tache by now...) Have you considered becoming a technical writer? Of course that could sound like an awful idea to you. I wouldn't relish it much myself, but given the opportunity I'd probably go for it at least in the short term.
However, I agree that contributing to web-based publications is a good idea at least to get used to being read by a wider audience. Also, there are many writing competitions out there (apart from the rip-off ones that charge you silly money to enter for no real result). I don't know if you saw the two that the BBC did over the last year or so; I entered both and although nothing came of it I really enjoyed the challenge of short story and comedy writing. So much so that I threw a sickie to spend time on both of them.
Maybe a writing group would be a good idea. I've seen a couple of writing group blogs and would be happy to contribute if you or anyone else are interested.
Oh, and good luck with the job endurance. At least it prevents you from being a starving writer if nothing else. When it gets truly unbearable, put 'Frankly Mr Shankly On.' Works for me.
At 2:55 am,
Hyde said…
Congrats on the novel! It must feel good to complete something like that. I don't know what kind of advice to give you in terms of your career though. I do a lot of academic writing. It's not like writing for the blog though. They tap into totally different parts of my brain and are each fulfilling in totally different ways. What kind of work do you do now, anyway?
-h
At 6:16 am,
HistoryGeek said…
I can't think of anything better to say...
At 9:57 am,
Anonymous said…
That sounds like many people who work for infernal blasted machines in soul-less corporations. I am in a similar position to yourself and I can say it is a godsend to have fullfilling creative outlets. I find it is important to me to have them as alternatives rather than a source of primary income. This way I can enjoy the creativity and wish for more rather than do continued best work and have it rejected and subsequently starve.
Even soulless corporations must realise this, and have policies to accomodate the gifted. Consider reducing your hours to create time for yourself. Consider other opportunities within the same SC which might enable working remotely. Volunteer for pan-galactic project work to broaden your horizons. Go on a RedBook residency in Texas.
or Send your CV to Wisden.
jzsiokqq
At 10:54 am,
John McClure said…
Persistence is fertile.
Don't write about your industry - you have no passion for it, so who'd want to read that?
Is there anyone on earth who didn't once share a laugh with a friend and think "We could write a comedy show"?
What's funny in the pub is seldom funny on TV (for precisely the reason that everyone watching has their own pub humour with their own friends and it's tailored to their taste in comedy much better than a TV show ever could be). It's a whole different talent to write funny stuff for TV (and if you need evidence of that, just think of the percentage of TV 'comedy' that makes your toes curl with its hideousness).
Being funny for a living probably becomes much like doing anything else for a living (writing included) - 90% toil, 10% fun. But that's not saying you should guard your writing as a fun hobby and not try doing it for a living. No matter what you work at, you have to work at it, so better to be doing something that will give you a proper sense of achievement at the end of it.
At 1:17 pm,
red one said…
Swiss - as others have said, it's probably important to distinguish journalism from writing anything creative. Have a look at the daily papers - that's without depressing yourself with trade publications - and you will see among one or two stand-out items, miserable shedloads of incredibly boring rubbish.
I'm not sure that being required to churn out reams of boring stuff on the instructions of idiots would be vastly different from being fed up with your job now. And the media industry is made of soulless corporations too, of course.
Both your blog and your novel are a different kettle of fish, I think. You might have more fun with web-based publications, writing groups, comedy writing or more novels.
red
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