they're packed full of vitamins, and good for you...

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Earworms of the Week

This has been one of those weeks where my work diary has been one long endless run of meetings, my emails have remained unread, my "to do" list has only grown longer, and by 7pm on Friday evening, I've become thoroughly bored of the whole damn thing. It's not been all bad though: it was good to see Heavy Trash and PowerSolo with Mike on Tuesday night, and it was also good be a part of the Shadowy Cabal that retained our quiz title (that's 5 weeks in a row now) on Wednesday night at the Leftlion quiz at the Golden Fleece. We gave our prize to the team that came last ("Team Retard"), but I'm fairly sure that everyone in there must be thoroughly sick of the sight of us by now.

So, Earworms. It's been a funny old week really, as I haven't listened to any music on the radio (I've been tuned into Five Live in the kitchen), I didn't watch any telly at all, and I've not really spent much time with my headphones on either. What you see here is pretty much a list of the things that I have somehow picked up in a different way, or has been triggered in my head by some extraneous factor.

Hey ho. Beats "Genius" anytime (the playlists on my iPhone were starting to become a bit repetitive over the course of last weekend.... partly a reflection on the fact that there's only a couple of thousand songs on there, but also a stark reflection that I have loaded it mainly with drab indie. It couldn't make a playlist off Johnny Cash, for starters, and the one we started with Amy Winehouse consisted entirely of Winelodge, Dusty and Aretha, which is great for a bit, but then starts to get very, very tedious.

Anyway, the list.

> "Bad Moon Rising" - Creedence Clearwater Revival

This actually popped up on a genius playlist on the way down to Bath last weekend, but it may as well have been triggered by all of the rain that we've been having recently. I'm not sure if John Fogerty was trying to work a metaphor here, or if he's just seen the weather forecast:

"I hear hurricanes ablowing.
I know the end is coming soon.
I fear rivers over flowing.
I hear the voice of rage and ruin."

Hmm. Look at him: I'm not sure he's got all that much metaphor in him, to be honest. Also used to very amusing effect in the transformation scene in "An American Werewolf in London".

> Theme to "Sale of the Century" / "Blind Date"

"From Norwich, it's the quiz of the week....!"

You've got to love the backwards theme tune round at the quiz, haven't you? I remember watching Nicholas Parson on "Sale of the Century", but I probably spent a lot more time sat in front of the telly watching the appalling spectacle of Cilla Black on "Blind Date". They used to insist on having it on in the tv room at school, and it was a tradition that as each of the three girls was introduced, they were greeted by ever increasing jeers and retching noises from those of us watching. Well, I'm not condoning it, but what kind of a person would want to appear on this rubbish anyway?

> "Build me up Buttercup" - The Foundations

Satan's own earworm.

> "Ruby" - Kaiser Chiefs

Oh crap. I don't expose myself to much music for a few days, and all these old horrors start creeping back in. I blame this one almost entirely on a conversation I had with Mike on Tuesday night about how neither of us were in the least bit bothered about the Kaiser Chiefs, but were a little curious about their fantastic live reputation (I've gone to see something else at Glastonbury a couple of times when they've been on). On Wednesday morning, and almost before I knew what was happening, I was the lucky recipient of Mike's "plus one" ticket to their gig at the Nottingham Arena in February as he's now going to be reviewing them for the local paper. Well, at least this way I'll find out if they're any good or if I can safely and absolutely confine them to the dumper.

> "Tired of Sex" - Weezer

Sparked off by a completely different Weezer song ("Smile") from a completely different album ("The Green Album") popping up on shuffle in the car this morning. They're a funny band really, and from a very, very tuneful and popular start with "Buddy Holly", they've kind of ploughed their own furrow and done their own thing, occasionally popping up on the radio when they do something catchy. This song is off "Pinkerton", and it's definitely not their poppiest or most accessible album, but from the very first listen, I thought this song in particular was aces. Listen to that scream of anguish...

"Thursday night I'm makin' Denise
Friday night I'm makin' Therese
Saturday night I'm making Louise
Oh, why can't I be making Love come true?"

Shagging groupies not the way to find true love, apparently.

> "Hey There Delilah" - Plain White Ts

As murdered by the dirty looking, floppy-haired, tone deaf, flip-flop wearing posh kids busking on the streets of Bath as I was trying to enjoy a coffee and a cookie in the afternoon sunshine outside Ben's Cookies. The cookie and the coffee were superb, but I was somewhat on edge that these idiots were about to murder a song I really liked. C. was all up for jumping up and tuning their guitars for them on the spot, but I thought that would be a futile gesture when everything else about them was probably beyond help.

I don't much like this song at the best of times. Awful lyrics.

> "All Nightmare Long" / "Battery" - Metallica

It might be a bit Metallica by numbers, but "Death Magnetic" has the one great virtue of rocking like a beast and bringing back good Metallica, not ropey therapy era afraid-of-being-Metallica Metallica. As for "Battery", well, it doesn't get much better than that. I was a little surprised to hear it in the back of the taxi I shared with Hen and LB on the way back from the pub quiz on Wednesday night. It's not every cabbie that will serenade you with Iron Maiden, Metallica and Nirvana on his stereo. Nice one.

... And then we got out of the cab and it was pointed out to me that the music was coming from my pocket, where my iPhone had switched itself on and was playing its way down one of my playlists.

Ah.

Oops.

It may be unrelated, but I woke up later on that night to realise that my foot hurt and the sheets were covered in blood. Either the cat had attacked me, or I had made a sleepy visit to the bathroom and stubbed my toe somewhere along the way.

Tired and emotional? Possibly.

> "Down by the Water" - PJ Harvey

Creepy. What's all that "little fish, big fish" stuff about? Mess with PJ Harvey at your peril... I think she's grasped the plain truth that the quickest way to a man's heart is through his trousers with a carving knife....

> "2KindsaLove" - Jon Spencer Blues Explosion

I've rambled about JSBX enough for one week, I think... suffice it to say that, of all of their songs, this is the one that I find the most irresistible. (word up to "Afro" too, though)

YAY-AH!

BLUES EXPLOSION!

> "Chocolate Salty Balls" - Chef / Theme from Shaft - Isaac Hayes

Hayes died in August this year, but as I haven't been listening to any of his music recently, I can only assume that this double-earworm is the result of the news only just sinking into my internal jukebox. You can't really argue with the theme from Shaft:

"Who's the black private dick
That's a sex machine to all the chicks?
(Shaft!)
You're damn right"

and after all,

"He's a complicated man
But no one understands him but his woman (John Shaft!)"

Superb. And has there ever been a chicka-chicka wah-wah guitar sound used to better effect?

As for Chef, well.... I know he walked out of South Park when they took the piss out of Scientology (whatever for?), but "Chocolate Salty Balls" is a work of pure genius, and Hayes will forever have my respect for including it in his set at Glastonbury in 2002. A performance I missed, sadly.

Legend. He's welcome in my head anytime.

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Phew. Time for a pint and my first telly of the week, I reckon.

Oh, and the wife's back from Moscow too. Best give her a scratch behind the ears and the cat a cuddle, eh?

Have a good weekend y'all, good luck if you're going for Glastonbury tickets on Sunday morning, and above all....STAY CLASSY.