But we cannot cling to the old dreams anymore
I've been having a bad week with the Weirdy Tingles. You might remember that the MRI scans revealed a patch of inflammation on my cerivical spinal cord, and that it was this swelling that was causing my symptoms: the tingles in down my left side, the weakness across my shoulders and the numbness across my body (see the inside of my head here!). The best advice that medical science could offer me was to sit tight and hope that it went away. The theory behind this was that they would probably never know what caused the swelling, and that if it was just "one of those things", a viral infection perhaps, then it might just go away and never come back.
There's just one other thing though. It might also be the first symptom of a wider problem, and I apparently have a 1 in 5 chance that it's MS.
Given what you know of my mildy obsessive personality, you might be surprised to hear that I'm actually not all that worried about it. Why worry? There's a good chance that it isn't, but if it is MS, there is absolutely nothing I can do about it, so it seems to me that it's a waste of energy to think otherwise. If it happens to me, it happens.
....and besides, if it *is* MS, then the "Life & Critical Illness" insurance that was a condition of my mortgage will kick in, and apparently marijuana is thought by some reputable medical sources to be useful in the alleviation of the symptoms, so it's not all bad news..... (how's that for looking on the bright side?)
Only kidding. I am really not obsessed with the idea that this could be something nasty. I'm just getting a little bit bored of the symptoms and the not knowing, is all.
There's just one other thing though. It might also be the first symptom of a wider problem, and I apparently have a 1 in 5 chance that it's MS.
Given what you know of my mildy obsessive personality, you might be surprised to hear that I'm actually not all that worried about it. Why worry? There's a good chance that it isn't, but if it is MS, there is absolutely nothing I can do about it, so it seems to me that it's a waste of energy to think otherwise. If it happens to me, it happens.
....and besides, if it *is* MS, then the "Life & Critical Illness" insurance that was a condition of my mortgage will kick in, and apparently marijuana is thought by some reputable medical sources to be useful in the alleviation of the symptoms, so it's not all bad news..... (how's that for looking on the bright side?)
Only kidding. I am really not obsessed with the idea that this could be something nasty. I'm just getting a little bit bored of the symptoms and the not knowing, is all.
10 Comments:
At 10:45 pm, Mark said…
fancy a toke?
At 11:20 pm, HistoryGeek said…
I'll keep my fingers crossed, but you might want to smoke a bit just to be on the safe side!
At 12:22 am, Hyde said…
Good luck with all that! I HATE when doctors don't have answers.
-h
At 12:51 am, LB said…
a lump sum of money would be handy if a large quantity of drugs was required to be purchased, although in my considerable number of years in this field I have never heard of that as a usage for such policy payouts....
I have no doubt you will end up being fine. None whatsoever. (well, physically, anyway)
At 7:23 am, -L said…
Sounds like perhaps you're just a freak of nature, ST. :) Just jokes! Stay positive like you are!!!!
At 8:06 am, Aravis said…
Not knowing is the worst. I hope it clears up but, failing that, I hope the insurance money comes through for you. Medical marijuana has its benefits I hear. *G* But would this mean that you would change your name:
SwissToni --> SwissStoner?
;0)
At 9:18 am, red one said…
Ew. Sorry you've had a tingly week. I'm also well impressed by your attitude.
Actually, SpliffToni's Place might be quite fun...
red
At 11:25 am, adem said…
I hope it's not all doom and gloom.
AND I'm surprised that you're advocating drug use when your last post was about Pete Doherty.
It always starts off with having a spliff [to start the day] next thing you're waking up in a strange hotel room with a dead hooker and covered in blood. I know I've been there.[just the strange hotel room mind you]
At 1:12 pm, Flash said…
The contents of a wet Radiohead kagoul as medicinal?
Sounds good to me!
Hope everything will be fine, I'm sure it will.
At 6:21 pm, Jenni said…
We seem to be complete opposites in this respect, as I'm a bit of a medical worrier. But I am glad you have a positive attitude AND that chances are you'll be a-okay.
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