time's tide will smother you
I haven't got the energy today, so I'm just going to tell you a joke:
Two monkeys are in the bath. One turns to the other and says:
"ooh ooh! ah-ah! eeeh-eeeh-eeeh!"
So the other one says:
"Well, put some cold in then."
honk honk!
Before you weigh in with your well reasoned critiques, and post-modernist interpretations, I'd like to hear if you know any better ones.... You can't beat a good joke, can you?
Comments button below (well reasoned critiques and post-modernist interpretations also welcome).
Two monkeys are in the bath. One turns to the other and says:
"ooh ooh! ah-ah! eeeh-eeeh-eeeh!"
So the other one says:
"Well, put some cold in then."
honk honk!
Before you weigh in with your well reasoned critiques, and post-modernist interpretations, I'd like to hear if you know any better ones.... You can't beat a good joke, can you?
Comments button below (well reasoned critiques and post-modernist interpretations also welcome).
posted by swisslet @ 15:11
13 Comments:
At 4:01 pm,
Mark said…
A Ham Sandwich walks into a pub and the barman says "Sorry, we don't serve food".
A classique.
At 4:09 pm,
Teresa Bowman said…
What's pink and hard?
A pig with a flick knife.
(By the way, at first glance I thought the title of this post was "Tim's tide will smother you", which I found faintly disturbing until I re-read it and realised my mistake.)
At 5:31 pm,
Damo said…
When is a door not a door?
When it's a jar.
At 6:28 pm,
Aravis said…
How about obscure:
A man walks into a bar.
Ouch!
At 10:22 pm,
The Num Num said…
I prefer Marx...
"Here pick a card......keep it I got 51 others"
At 10:37 pm,
Deek Deekster said…
Man walks into a ham sandwich, and says, it'll never get well if you pick it.
Two horses, one says to the other, Whinnny!!! Whinnny!! The other says, speak up, Chester, I've got no nose.
Did you hear the one about the nervous gambler? He put all his winnings on a bus and got off at the next stop.
No, they are not funny. I just thought I'd share them with you :)
At 10:39 pm,
swisslet said…
Deek - I've heard worse!
NumNum - Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
At 11:21 am,
Statue John said…
It's not really a joke but is quite funny nonetheless. Attempt a search in Google for 'fuckwit'(excuse the language).
At 12:38 pm,
Me said…
A skeleton walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a beer and a mop please."
Rib tickling.
At 4:53 pm,
John McClure said…
Why does Edward Woodward have four d's in his name?
Otherwise, he'd be Ewar Woowar.
At 8:54 am,
Anonymous said…
Tell the one abt the ambulance & the wheelchairs...
granted it won't be as funny without the sound effects and the look on your face
funniest joke ever?
Wenn ist das Nunstruck git und Slotermeyer? Ja! ... Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!
guess it is better than
'My dog has no nose'
'How does he smell'
Terrible'
At 11:06 am,
adem said…
Why do elephants have big ears?
Because Noddy wouldn't pay the ransom!
Why does Noddy wear a hat with a bell on?
Because he's a twat!
What did Hitler say before his men got in their tanks?
Get in your tanks men.
Brilliant classics that never age.
At 9:53 pm,
LB said…
A moth sat in the waiting room of a dentists practice and eventually the dentist called him in.
"Hello", said the moth, "I'm here for some pyschiatric advice".
"Oh, sorry", said the dentist, "I'm a dentist, I can't help you with that".
"Yes, I know", said the moth.
"Oh," said the dentist. "So why did you come in here, then?"
"Your light was on."
boom boom
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