52% intelligent. 9% modest. More monkey than bear.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

kicking, screaming, gucci little piggy...


Apparently a “senior government minister” will be visiting my office next week. Unfortunately, I’ll be away on holiday when this momentous event happens, and to be honest I couldn’t care less which of that horrible den of worthless tossers turns up to have his arse kissed by various toadying senior managers. What did make me laugh though is the disruption that this visit will cause. Here are a few snippets from the announcement on the company intranet:

-> Parking will be severely restricted and several car parks will be closed for the whole day. This includes the disabled parking.

-> All desks must be kept completely clear and all desk draws and filing cabinets must be left unlocked from the night before so that they can ALL be searched before the visit

-> For the duration of the day, there will only be one way in and out of the building (for several thousand people)

-> Security and the Police will be manning this entrance and carrying out searches of both people and bags. Expect to queue.

-> The canteen will stop serving food at 1pm

-> The VIP will make a guest appearance at a special company briefing at 2pm (although the time is subject to last minute change)

…and so on.

It all sounds like a monumental pain in the arse to me, all for the chance of being “inspired” by the mere presence of such greatness.

I’m desperately hoping that it’s John Prescott. I would dearly love the symbol of all that is rotten with this Government turning up to wave gracefully at the prostrate masses and to pass on his benedictions on the future success of the company before swanning off in his Jaguar to a swanky corporate dinner somewhere. The mental image of the smug fatcats in charge of this company debasing themselves in their haste to grovel before the great fat tit is a very pleasing one.

Unfortunately, I hear Tony Blair is in Nottingham next week, so I imagine it will be him. Perhaps he’ll lead the company in prayer at 2pm?

What’s the official form of address for the Prime Minister again?

Yo! Blair!

It’s all so tedious. Still, the next election campaign won’t fund itself, will it?

Like I said.... it's just a shame I won't be here to see it.

13 Comments:

  • At 8:17 pm, Blogger monogodo said…

    You should empty out one drawer of your desk and then lock it before you go to Italy.

     
  • At 9:15 pm, Blogger Mark said…

    ..one must ask... if they need such precautions to prevent unwanted activity, then surely the PM - or whomever - is more scared of the people than we are of him. Which is saying something.

     
  • At 9:39 pm, Blogger Threelight said…

    All desks must be kept completely clear and all desk draws and filing cabinets must be left unlocked from the night before so that they can ALL be searched before the visit

    What's that for? Just in case they find the WMDs maybe?

     
  • At 10:41 pm, Blogger Robin said…

    There doesn't happen to be a kitchen timer and a load of electrical wiring in your desk, does there?

     
  • At 10:48 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Get someone to ask him about the "trade thingy" and what he's going to do about the shits in Syria.

    Then if he starts babbling they can just say (dismisively)"go tell Angela" or "phone Kofi".

     
  • At 2:44 am, Blogger Me said…

    Had a visit from TB at my place last year. We weren't allowed to know who the VIP visitor was until we saw him in front of us on the premises. David Beckham was in the country at the same time, so we were all hoping it would be him. Alas...

     
  • At 8:31 am, Blogger Aravis said…

    Don't hold back ST. Tell us how you really feel! *G*

     
  • At 9:15 am, Blogger LB said…

    why is the canteen shutting at 1pm? He surely isn't having his meeting in there, is he?

    Or are MI5 scared of exploding dumplings or something? (although, aren't we all, frankly).

    If it is Prescott, that would explain why the parking would be severely restricted....

     
  • At 11:59 am, Blogger Cat said…

    No-one ever visits us, but I fear that there would be an outcry about being searched/the pretense of clear desks et al if it was to happen...

     
  • At 12:07 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Hi ST.

    CTOXYNAD was my verification word this time. Sounds like a testicular cancer drug to me.

    A VIP visit ? That's all I bloody well need. I've never managed a clear desk, and my desk drawers are full from previous attempts. I'll gawp at the VIP on your behalf, and feign interest.

    the eye in the holiday sky

     
  • At 10:26 pm, Blogger P'tit-Loup said…

    There was a visit from Arnold Swartzenagger a few weeks ago at a local school and it cause quite a stir. Then there was a dinner for him in posh place at $1000 a plate or something like that.

    I love the class and good savoir faire of the american prez! Those guys are all an embarassment! Is Blair big on prayer? What a dichotomy, blow them up and say you love everyone.

     
  • At 12:42 am, Blogger bytheseashore said…

    'Parking will be severely restricted and several car parks will be closed for the whole day. This includes the disabled parking.'

    That's a giveaway. It's not Prezza or TB, it's Jim Davidson

     
  • At 10:25 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    What's that for? Just in case they find the WMDs maybe?

    Well, there's more chance of them bein g found in the drawer than anyway else.

     

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