52% intelligent. 9% modest. More monkey than bear.

Monday, May 30, 2005

And i'm braindead virtually...

The more I think about it, the more I'm starting to realise that there are startling parallels between life and buying a cup of coffee:

Buying a cup of coffee used to be simple. You either had it white or you had it black. You had it with sugar or without. If you were really fussy, you might even choose to have it decaffeinated. You had choices, but you didn't have too many choices.

Suddenly, and without you really noticing, the world changed, and there are choices (and coffee shops) everywhere. Good morning sir, how are you today? Will you be having Expresso, Cappuccino, Latte, Mocha, Macchiato? With syrup or without (hazelnut, caramel, vanilla, gingerbread, mint....)? Full fat, half-fat or skinny? Hot or iced? Tall, Grande or Venti? With an extra shot? Full caff, half caff or decaff?

Sure, it comes in a nice big mug with a logo on it, and you get to wallow in a nice comfy sofa with the paper, but there's a small price to pay for all this luxury. Well, not such a small price really - it's bloody extortionate. It's so expensive, that to feed your burgeoning caffeine habit, you have to stop eating (except for panini and muffins, obviously).

And so it goes on. You drink more and more coffee of an ever increasing complexity and cost, and then you die; bloated, sleep-deprived and profoundly unfulfilled.

Hmm. Or perhaps you can stretch a simile too far. I'm sure that won't be happening to any of us.... will it?

I think I'll have a cup of tea instead.


  • At 11:57 pm, Blogger Graham said…

    An ex of mine used to work for Pret-A-Manger. Still does, I believe. The cost of a coffee? 99p. The cost of making it? 4p.

    No wonder they like selling people coffee eh?

  • At 12:01 am, Blogger swisslet said…

    those coffee growers must be making a fortune eh? All those farmers in the third world living the life of riley....

    what's that?


  • At 9:13 am, Blogger LB said…

    I have a theory that the same thing may end up happening to beer in the long run.

    I can see a time when I walk into a pub and order a grande extra-iced light low-carb with an extra shot of malt.

    That'll be £4.50, sir.

  • At 11:01 am, Blogger John McClure said…

    Only got time for a half?

  • At 7:54 pm, Blogger Aravis said…

    You've left me craving a venti chai latte with no way to get one. Bad, bad Swisstoni!

    But you've saved my wallet. Thank-you SwissToni!

    (Sounding like Paltrow's version of Emma now. Oh dear.)


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