52% intelligent. 9% modest. More monkey than bear.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

one of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you

I decided to wear a pair of boots to work today that I haven't worn for several months. The second I walked out of the front door and began to make my way towards my car, I remembered why: they squeak. It's not an especially loud noise, and it only comes from the left boot, but I find it incredibly grating. The noise cuts right through me with every other step that I take, and it makes me want to take the offending shoe off and hurl it away, happy to hobble on with one boot just to escape from the maddening sound. But I don't. I shuffle on towards my car, looking around to see if anyone in the street is looking around to discover the source of this strange noise, but the road is empty and the squeak goes by unnoticed.

If it's so annoying, why not just replace them? Because these are good quality, hand-made shoes, and although they are a couple of years old, there is nothing else wrong with them, and I refuse to just throw them away.

As you know, I'm not an obsessive person, but I must know why these boots are squeaking and I want to make them stop. The squeak appears to originate from the sole of the shoe at the point where my foot rolls away as I start to lift my heel to take my next step. This stands to reason, I suppose, as it's the point at which the shoe is at its maximum stretch and therefore under the most pressure. There must be an air pocket caught between the shoe and the sole. I've found that if I alter my stride pattern slightly so that I roll my foot differently as I take a step, I seem to avoid the air pocket and the shoe doesn't squeak. Fantastic. Sadly this new step is awkward and if I walk like this for much longer, I think that I will develop a permanent limp. I can hardly spend the day walking around the office on tiptoe, so I'm squeaking my way around trying as hard as I can to just get on with my day and not let it bother me.

Perhaps I can learn to live with it. I may not be the only person to hear the noise, but I'm almost certainly the only person who cares about it. I don't imagine that people are learning to identify me by the noise my shoes make, at least not yet, so perhaps I can just carry on with my day and learn to tune it out. Perhaps it will just go away.

Unfortunately I know myself better than that. Even when I'm walking on carpet and can't actually hear the squeak, I imagine that I can **feel** it creaking beneath my foot. I'm not going to be able to let this go. I'm going to think about it all day, and when I get home, I'm going to take these boots off and not wear them again for another few months.

I think perhaps I should just bite the bullet and get them re-soled. Better that than to never wear them again.

Maybe there is no squeak at all and I'm just going mental.


  • At 11:30 am, Blogger Erika said…

    Get them resoled, you silly sod. It might even take less than that. Chris Martin would approve.

  • At 12:07 pm, Blogger LB said…

    i think you're going mental.

  • At 2:24 pm, Blogger adem said…

    I've got a pair of lovely shoes that I wear t owork but ever so often they squeek on a certain stretch of flooring. I usually end up hobbling/limping/jumpsing over this area to avoid the noise.

    I know how you feel man. Whatever choice you make I'll stand by you.

  • At 3:27 pm, Blogger Teresa Bowman said…

    I have a pair of Doc Martens clogs that squeak when they get wet. As a consequence I never wear them when it's raining.

  • At 5:43 pm, Blogger HistoryGeek said…

    I hate, hate, hate squeeky shoes. And I have a pair that squeek and, like you, I can't seem to give them up. However, they also don't seem worth resoling since I bought them used and they are now almost ready to die (the squeek started about 2 years into their wear and I've had them for another 2).

    But here's my dillema: It's become very hard for me to find shoes because I really don't want to buy new leather. I'll buy old leather, reconciling myself to the fact that I'm not contributing to the primary leather economy, but that means my choices are limited and sometimes not very choice. I will have to bite the bullet soon though and buy some pleather (choices of veg shoes are also pretty limited) to replace this set because I don't think I can spend another winter with them squeeking.

    And my word today is "euaiktho"...do you think Greek?

  • At 5:43 pm, Blogger the urban fox said…

    You could always try coughing on every left step. That'd cover it up. You might find you start a Nottingham bird flu panic though. Still, what price peace of mind?

  • At 8:59 pm, Blogger Ali said…

    >and I refuse to just throw them away.

    This is what ebay is for Tone.

    >As you know, I'm not an obsessive person

    Hyahyahyaaaa! Oh man, my sides!

    I like Urban Fox's suggestion, but if you find the coughing too onerous and attention drawing; may I offer as an alternative the idea of sellotaping a mouse to the right sole to even it up?

  • At 9:57 pm, Blogger Flash said…

    I think you're going mental too.

  • At 9:59 pm, Blogger swisslet said…

    you think I'm going mental?

    oh you poor loves.... I went mental years ago. This is just another manifestation of it!


  • At 10:42 pm, Blogger LB said…

    but I didn't know you years ago, remember [winks theatrically]

    *hands over another used fiver*

  • At 3:36 am, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    you flipping loon

    you cant have been that bad back then...else how the hell did we put up with you (and vice versa i guess)!?

    Just go and get them resoled..else you'll end up looking like mogwai womble with a 'silly walk'..hang on minute...scatch the resole...this i want to see.



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