52% intelligent. 9% modest. More monkey than bear.

Sunday, July 31, 2005

it's so intense that I can't explain, all alone in my white-boy pain...

I suppose I'm feeling a bit blue today. In the aftermath of my visit to the consultant, I have been talking to various people who are all concernced about my health and wellbeing, and they are all of course relieved that I now pretty much know what is going on and that I should be okay. It is really nice to know that people care - thanks for your comments and for your concern. I really appreciate it.

So why am I down? I think part of it is that I feel like I am in limbo: although I have been to see the specialist and I know what's wrong with me, I won't know the full extent of it or how it can be treated until I have had the MRI scan, and in the meantime I still have the symptoms: the generalised numbness and loss of sensation. It's not so bad, and I went out for a long (gentle) run yesterday to work out some of the cobwebs from my muscles and from my mind, and I'm planning on a gentle swim tonight to ease out some of the tightness in my lumbar spine - something I've suffered from for about 10 years now, and was the reason for my last MRI scan back in 1996.

I suppose Sundays are always a little bit like this: the pleasure of a lazy day is always tempered by the knowledge that it's back to work in the morning. I'm just feeling it a little worse than usual today.

I formally withdrew from the triathlon last night - by letting them know that I won't be racing, I should have a place in next year's race guaranteed. It was surprisingly hard to send the email once I had written it. There's no way I would have been racing next weekend, but it was still hard to push that button and make that decision final. Later on today I have to go out to Decathlon to pick up my bike from the workshop where it was having its pre-race tune up. This won't be wasted, because I have discovered that having a proper road bike has made cycle training so much more enjoyable and I will keep that up. I also want to make sure the bike is in good condition in case John decides to use it in the race next week (it's newer and lighter than his bike). Still. It's hard.


I finished 'Harry Potter & the Half-Blood Prince' this morning. This is book 6 out of a planned 7, and I approached it with some trepidation because I found books 4 and 5 to be overlong, poorly edited and pretty unconvincing. I tell you what though - this one is pretty good. Very dark and also quite a lot more adult. Not quite up to the standards Philip Pullman set with 'His Dark Materials', but actually pretty impressive and I find myself in the surprising position of actually looking forward to the concluding installment. Hats off to JK Rowling.

It's either 'V for Vendetta' by Alan Moore or 'Yes Man' by Danny Wallace next, I think.

I'm going to pick up the album by the Editors when I go shopping today, and also pop into the cinema for a bit of brainless superhero fun with "The Fantastic Four". If either of those cheer me up as much as coming face to face with a bold little squirrel on our street as I walked back from picking up some lunch, we'll be doing well... he actually hopped over to me and eyeballed me from a distance of about two foot as I was crouched down beckoning to him. He soon hopped off, but he left me smiling.


  • At 3:06 pm, Blogger Damo said…

    "V For Vendetta" is, if I'm not mistaken, one of Queen Bee's favourite books ever. Certainly her favourite graphic novel.

    Todays post title... it looks vaguely familiar... :-)

  • At 3:07 pm, Blogger Damo said…

    Oh, and glad to know you should be a shoe-in for next year's Triathlon. Bearing in mind you were a recent starter to all this, another year's practice = a faster time I hope!

  • At 3:54 pm, Blogger Flash said…

    sorry your glum, matey.

    Do let me know about Editors I've not heard them yet but I've heard many good things said of them.

    Chin up, big guy!

  • At 4:41 pm, Blogger red one said…

    Hello Swiss, sorry I'm catching up a bit late, but comiserations about the triathlon and feeling down. The sense of anti-climax after all that training must be huge.

    My mum had an op to sort out some spinal cord problems last year, so I know how stressful the waiting to see limbo can be. But the upside is that doctors are very clever at this spinal stuff these days - my mum's condition, which was at times very painful and starting to be quite limiting, was quite dramatically improved. You are doing the right thing to postpone the triathlon and get yourself repaired first.

    Hope the film cheers you up a bit.


  • At 5:36 pm, Blogger Crucifer said…

    V for Vendetta is one of the most amazing graphic novels I've read as well...!

    Curiously, I've just been pushing for a mate to read it.

    And it's getting made into a movie soon...

  • At 6:14 pm, Blogger LB said…

    ...with Natalie Portman.

    One track mind? moi?

    I'm always slightly maudlin on a Sunday evening for some reason...

    Like you say, the training hasn't been wasted, has it? and imagine how much better you'll feel when this is all sorted, eh?

    chin up, legend

  • At 6:26 pm, Blogger HistoryGeek said…

    Just read the previous post, and I'm glad that there is nothing too serious. But your in my thoughts. And sorry to hear about the triathalon, of course your feeling down.

    I still haven't bought the HP book yet. I usually wait for HippyChick and BeeDragon to read theirs and pass it on to me.

  • At 6:48 pm, Blogger Stu said…

    Your just rockin the suburbs aren't ya.

  • At 11:06 pm, Blogger Tom said…

    "V For Vendetta" is due for release on November 5th, so get a move on.

    The trailer is also online at the site www.vforvendetta.com.

  • At 6:58 am, Blogger Aravis said…

    Hope your spirits pick up soon, ST, but we're here if you need us!

    As for HP, I stayed up all night last night to finish it. I really liked it, too. I wasn't surprised by who so much as how, and feel there's more to learn there. But I did enjoy it, too.

    It sounds as though "V For Vendetta" is the crowd favorite for the next read. :0)

  • At 9:34 am, Blogger Teresa Bowman said…

    I have severe, very severe reservations about the "V for Vendetta" film. Very severe. I'm just hoping and praying it doesn't turn out to be another big-budget Hollywood f***-up.

    I just feel very strongly about that book because it did change my life to some extent.

    PS. Shake your booty while the band complain!

  • At 3:16 pm, Blogger Ali said…

    Cheer up Swiss. Thinking of you and sending you happy thoughts.


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