On the bed, on the floor, on a towel by the door....

Well, I don't know about you lot, but I'm mighty glad that the working week is finally over. It's bad enough being at work at the best of times, but being at work with a stinking cold is quite something else. The thing about the common cold is that it never makes you feel entirely dreadful, and in many ways I've continued pretty much as normal this week - the main difference being the trail of tissues I've been leaving behind me. It does just make you feel ropey enough to bring your whole day down and make everything just that little more of a chore. To paraphrase someone on QI the other night, how come scientists can grow a human ear on a mouse's back, but they haven't found the cure for the common cold?

Pah.

Anyway. It's just a cold.

To the business in hand: another week, another set of earworms.

Two for the price of one this week. Given that they never actually received their shuffleathon CDs, in spite of months and months of waiting, I wouldn't have been all that surprised if this week's Guest Editors had written me off entirely. That they haven't is tribute both to their patience and to their powers of forgiveness (and possibly due to a couple of compilation CDs I sent out to them both by way of consolation).

Ladies and Gentleworms, without further ado, it is my great pleasure to introduce for your earworming pleasure.....

Earworms of the Week - Guest Editor(s) #76 - JamieS & Wombat

What a week of worms! A viral video, a commercial on a never ending loop, and the freaking Grammys. Earworms 1-5 this week are from Virginia (Smitten) and Earworms 6-10 are from Texas (Wombat), for your listening pleasure.

1. I'm Fucking Matt Damon by Sarah Silverman and Matt Damon.

Sarah Silverman dates Jimmey Kimmel who has a perpetual gag on his talk show about running out of time to interview Matt Damon. So Sarah put together a video confession to Jimmy that she is fucking Matt Damon ("on the bed, on the floor, on a towel by the door, in a tub, in the car, up against the mini bar"). I dare you to not sing the chorus after watching the video

2. Goody Two Shoes by Adam Ant.

I've been listening to the Hot Fuzz soundtrack and this is the lead track. I found myself muttering "don't drink, don't smoke, what do you do?" whilst listening to someone at work bragging about their lame spreadsheet. Can't really trust someone who doesn't do one or the other, now can you? Adam is so damn hot, though. Not many men can carry off a shirt knotted above the midriff. Time to stand and deliver, my friends.

3. Sheila by Jamie T.

You can all blame Swiss Toni himself for this earworm, a track on my specially for Smitten Shuffleathon cd. I had never heard of Jamie T, but enjoyed this track enough to look him up online and listen to some other songs. "She gets poured all over a fella" and "guess the carpet weren't rolled out" have been sung frequently in my car this week. That's how we Jamies roll.

4. No One by Alicia Keys.

Damn Grammys. I watched it on delay with Mr. Tivo and was able to skip that annoying ella/brella song and was prepared to speed past this song as well, but Stevie Wonder just had to launch into it when introducing Alicia's performance. Sigh. I can't hate Little Stevie, but I have no urge to learn more than "no one, no one, no one unh, unh" -- nor do I need to, as I have repeated this off and on since Sunday night. If you dare hear more, go here. I'm not sure, but I suspect that there is no one, no one, no one that will do for Alicia.

5. Freeze Frame by J. Geils Band.

Seriously, I hate me for typing this. I've been driving back and forth to Virginia Beach frequently for the past few weeks and sometimes I turn off the cds and scan the radio for something random. On two different days and on two different stations, I heard Freeze Frame. ("Freeze Frame! Freeze Frame! Now Freeze!") I was not a fan of this song when it came out in 1981 and it hasn't improved with age. I don't know anyone with a lipstick reflex and sorry man, but I think that this freeze frame moment CAN be wrong.

6. new soul by yael naim

this is the song in the new macbook air computer commercial, which apparently runs every break on my political news tv station of choice, msnbc. others might find the song charming and quirky. not me. it gives new meaning to the word ohrwurm, as i hate chick singers in general, and this song makes me want to erstechen myself im ohr mit Stricknadel. great now i also feel bad because i can't remember any german.

7. fall to pieces by velvet revolver

a fabulous combination of slash's guitar licks and weiland's passionate vocals, this worm is like an aural sorbet. cleansing the mac nasties out of my head. thank you sir may i have another.

8. faith by george michael

i can't escape this song lately. first it was a major plot device in the new show eli stone, where the lead character, a still tasty post-angelina-jolie johnny lee miller, starts hearing songs in his head. then a pre-writers-strike-ending time-filling conan o'brien played guitar while his producer sang along to it in the booth. it will always remind me of the day i was offered my first job in radio, and i went to lunch with all the "cool" people from the station. and the program director -- back in the day when pd's were cool and not useless soulless corporate robot douchebags -- put his foot up against the jukebox and sang along, just like george in the video. ah. good times.

9. i can't hold back by survivor

sure it's cornier than a federally subsidized field in kansas, and good god the video is even worse. but i have always loved jimi jamison's voice, and i won't apologize for getting this stuck in my head.

10. falling slowly by glen hansard and marketa irglova

ever since i saw once, i've had this song haunting me. i had a crush on little glen back when he was the guitarist in the commitments and enjoyed a few frames singles after that. now please excuse me, i have to go fuck matt damon.

----

Thanks girls. That's certainly left me with an image I'm not sure I want to have planted in my head. The J. Geils Band, Adam Ant and Survivor all in one list (and not the obvious tracks either)? Well, at least I know you haven't been making this up to look cool and this is genuinely what was in your heads. Good work. I salute you! You may not have got your original shuffleathon CDs, but if it's any consolation to you at all, you'll always be welcome round these parts. I also love the phrase "aural sorbet", and I intend on using it as often as possible.... if I have your permission, of course?

Thanks for playing.

Coming up: Pynchon (22/2), Briskate (29/2), me (7/3 - my birthday!), Craig Cliff (14/3), Cody Bones (28/3 TBC), the lovely J (4/4), then you? Drop me an email and it could be you up here with your name in lights. Or something.

Have a good weekend, y'all.

[Previous Guest Editors: Flash, The Urban Fox, Lord Bargain, Retro-Boy, Statue John, Ben, OLS, Ka, Jenni, Aravis, Yoko, Bee, Charlie, Tom, Di, Spin, The Ultimate Olympian, Damo, Mike, RedOne, The NumNum, Leah, Le Moine Perdu, clm, Michael, Hyde, Adem, Alecya, bytheseashore, adamant, Earworms of the Year 2005, Delrico Bandito, Graham, Lithaborn, Phil, Mark II, Stef, Kaptain Kobold, bedshaped, I have ordinary addictions, TheCatGirlSpeaks, Lord B rides again, Tina, Charlie II, Cody Bones, Poll Star, Jenni II, Martin, Del II, The Eye in the Sky, RussL, Lizzy's Hoax, Ben II, Earworms of the Year 2006, Sarah, Flash II, Erika, Hen, Pynchon, Troubled Diva, Graham II, Cat II, Statue John II, Sweeping the Nation, Aravis II, Olympian II, C, Planet-Me, Mike, Michael II, Eye in the Sky II, Charlie III, The Great Grape Ape, asta, Ben III, Earworms of the Year 2007, Cat III]