to be the man I know I am...

Right. Short weeks are the ones that feel the longest, right? Well, we've made it to Friday evening now, and all that stands between me and a well earned beer is this week's earworms. Tonight's guest editor has appeared in this slot in a number of guises, but I don't care what he chooses to call himself, because I know he's an all round excellent fellow. He'll probably be delighted to hear that his current nom de plume conjures up images in my mind of a spy, a raconteur and an all round ladies man. Just like the real thing then.....

Ladies and Gentleworms, without further ado, it is my great pleasure to present for your earworming pleasure.....

Earworms of the Week - Guest Editor #89 - Jerry Cornelius from the Final Programme

10. "Toxic" by Britney Spears.

When the mood strikes me I like to fire up the Virgin Media V+ box, pick a video from their 'Music On Demand' service and sing along at the top of my voice. Sometimes my good lady is so overcome by my performance, tears fill her eyes and she actually has to leave the room. "Toxic" by lovely, beautiful, fragile, mad Britney was one of my choices this weekend

Seriously, and I honestly couldn't give a fig if this is not cool, I really like Britney Spears. In the middle of the media storm that has enveloped her due to her behaviour in recent years, it is easy to forget that Britney has made some really great, unpretentious pop records. "Toxic" is one of her very best. I love it.

I hope she gets well soon. Really I do.

9. "They" by Jem.

Another Virgin Media V+ choice.

It is a great track and I loved her going all "Barbarella" in the video. I really liked 2004's "Finally Woken" album and it was a shame that I missed out on seeing her live that year. (The night she was playing Wolverhampton Civic Hall I was double booked to see some forgotten, unwashed Indie guitar band, singing about their drug problems.) Sadly, Jem seemed to disappear after 2004, but the good news is that the lady has gotten her finger out and her second album is due to be released shortly.

8. "Inner Smile" by Texas.

I heard this on the radio. I hadn't heard it in years.

Texas left me completely cold until the "Say What You Want" single came out and Sharleen Spiteri made a solo apperance on one of Jonathan Ross' shows, when she sang an old Motown number with the house band. Frankly, she knocked my socks off. I never realised what a good singer she was. My good lady and I saw Texas at the NEC in, I think, 1998. Brilliant. This song was one of the encores.

7. "I Can See Clearly Now" by Johnny Nash.

I watched the movie "Cool Runnings" on Monday evening and the Jimmy Cliff version of this song was on the soundtrack. It was good, but Johnny Nash's version is the best.

Did you know that prior to his international success with the Wailers, Bob Marley worked with Johnny Nash quite a lot during the late 60's and early 70's? Nash recorded several Marley songs and Marley was part of Nash's band during Nash's tour of the UK in the 1972. I don't think that Marley played on this track, but I might be wrong.

6. "Waiting For A Star To Fall" by Boy Meets Girl.

Recently on VH1 or MTV they had one of those top 100 countdowns. You know the kind of thing? Top 100 80's videos, or something like that. Anyway, this track has been stuck in my head ever since.

I will just get out a postage stamp. Plenty of room on a postage stamp to write down everything I know about Boy Meets Girl or this track. Nice song. 80's shimmering synth, sunshine pop at it's very best.

5. "Brown Eyed Girl" by Van Morrison.

Another film song. I was watching "Sleeping With The Enemy" on Monday night. Enjoyable film, nearly undone by daft plot developments, and a peformance of such eye rolling madness by Patrick Bergin that I expected him to pop up at any minute with a parrot on his shoulder. There was a nice romantic interlude in the film where this song is on the soundtrack.

Of course, Van Morrison is a legend, but I know very little about him other than the singles he made with Them, this song and the song "Moondance".

4. "That's Not My Name" by The Ting Tings.

I suppose I must have heard this on the radio. I don't know.

Call and response girly pop. Reminds me of the kind of thing Blondie would have done before they discovered disco. At the moment I think that it is great, but it would probably become very annoying if heard too much.

3. "Another Suitcase In Another Hall" by Rachel and Niamh.

This was the sing off song on week 8 of the BBC's "I'd Do Anything" competition. Rachel won, but she was knocked out in week 9. Shame. Her version of "Cabaret" at the start of the show was fantastic.

I think this is the best song Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice ever wrote. 'Nuff said.

2. "If Tomorrow Never Comes" by Ronan Keating.

This was on Wogan's breakfast show yesterday. Have a weep with me. Definitiely a weepy.

Ronan Keating's solo career never really took off ,which is probably why he is now touring with the reformed Boyzone and is delighting ladies in their late 20's at a venue near you. I think Boyzone (and Ronan) made some fine records in their time.

1. "Laura" by the Scissor Sisters.

I was at work, sitting in front of my PC, waiting for a lamentable piece of software to respond. I turned to the ginger guy sitting next to me and said, "It's at times like this I like to say, Sha'mon!". He looked at me like I was insane, but an earworm was born.

I didn't much care for the Scissor Sisters second album, but I adored their debut album. "Laura" was the opening track. Camptastic! I was lucky enough to be in the right place at the right time and nabbed a ticket for the Scissor Sisters show at the Carling Academy in Birmingham in 2004. I enjoyed the show very much. A heaving, mad crowd and a drag artiste singing Britney Spears songs as the opening act. That night the Scissor Sisters did a killer version of Franz Ferdinand's "Take Me Out" as the encore. Excellent. Maybe I will have to give the second album another listen.

That's all folks. I'm off. Thanks Swiss. A pleasure, as always.

---

The pleasure was all mine, Jerry and you're welcome around these parts any time. Actually, whilst I've got everyone's attention, I should just take this opportunity to point everyone to Jerry's most recent post. "I died in 2008...". It's an absolute blinder, and if you only read one other thing this week, make it that. Outstanding post.

Right. Weekend anyone?

Lovely.

[Previous Guest Editors: Flash, The Urban Fox, Lord Bargain, Retro-Boy, Statue John, Ben, OLS, Ka, Jenni, Aravis, Yoko, Bee, Charlie, Tom, Di, Spin, The Ultimate Olympian, Damo, Mike, RedOne, The NumNum, Leah, Le Moine Perdu, clm, Michael, Hyde, Adem, Alecya, bytheseashore, adamant, Earworms of the Year 2005, Delrico Bandito, Graham, Lithaborn, Phil, Mark II, Stef, Kaptain Kobold, bedshaped, I have ordinary addictions, TheCatGirlSpeaks, Lord B rides again, Tina, Charlie II, Cody Bones, Poll Star, Jenni II, Martin, Del II, The Eye in the Sky, RussL, Lizzy's Hoax, Ben II, Earworms of the Year 2006, Sarah, Flash II, Erika, Hen, Pynchon, Troubled Diva, Graham II, Cat II, Statue John II, Sweeping the Nation, Aravis II, Olympian II, C, Planet-Me, Mike, Michael II, Eye in the Sky II, Charlie III, The Great Grape Ape, asta, Ben III, Earworms of the Year 2007, Cat III, JamieS & Wombat, Pynchon II, Briskate, Craig Cliff, Fiery Little Sod, Cody II, J, Yoko II, Rol, Lisa, Pollstar II, Joe the Troll, Eye in the Sky III]

.....If you want to have a go in this slot, then all you have to do is ask. Either comment below or drop a line to the email address in my profile. All welcome. If no one volunteers, then I have to do it, and no one wants that really. I've been listening to Neil Diamond and REO Speedwagon this week, so consider yourself warned......